There is something fundamentally wrong with NOT feeling good about myself. I certainly wasn't born this way. Let's face it, none of us were! But somehow as I grew and developed physically and emotionally, I picked up on something that said I didn't measure up. Where did I even get the idea that judging myself was a 'thing'? I'll leave that to the deep thinkers in psychology. However it started, I know that a pattern of self-diminishment began at a very young age and can be traced like a winding river through the hills and valleys of my life.
Periodically I was exposed to the idea that Feeling Good About Me was okay and in fact, a very useful idea. It really took root in 1997 when I attended the Hoffman Quadrinity Process and laid bare the range of ways I viewed myself from the negatives to the positives. This was the beginning of a dedicated journey to find the gift within myself and lovingly accept all of me.
The challenge of course is that when I have failed miserably or lost my centre I am more likely to start judging myself harshly and seeing only the flaws. This is the time when more than ever I need to pull out my 'Atta Girl' file. Yes, it's a real thing and yes, it's called Atta Girl. Over the years I've been blessed with kind notes from friends, clients and retreat women. When I have a hard time feeling good about me I can remind myself that others saw in me what, in this moment at least, I can't see. There is no shame in looking outside for words that resonate. I have been known to chastise myself for needing acknowledgements from others when, in fact, these are just tools that help me when I'm struggling. I would never withhold a bandaid from a scratched knee so why withhold loving words from a wounded soul.
How might your life be different if you took some time today to see yourself as the precious person that you are - with all your perfections and imperfections?
Ms. Daryl Wood, CPCC is a fearless champion of No-Drama Living and Inner Resilience.