One of my favourite quotes is "The space for what you want is already filled with what you settled for instead." by Richard Bach. I am looking closely at what I have settled for.
Over my lifetime I know I have settled for many things personally and professionally. I've told myself stories about what is possible and how much I could accomplish. I've listened to other people's stories and used them as a template for my own. I've stopped myself short of fulfilling a dream when the last leg of the journey took me out of my comfort zone. All this because somewhere along the line I made it okay to settle.
The light came bursting into my consciousness when I rambled off this quote to a friend as we talked about the year ahead. To me, she was clearly building a case for settling. The words sounded in my head like a thunderclap and I saw that I was doing the same thing; that I had been settling.
I settled when I set the bar low for my health, my business, my creative endeavours. I settled when things got hard or uncomfortable. I settled when I forgot that I have incredible resilience and tenacity. At times, my life was full of busyness that felt fulfilling but ultimately kept me from standing up to my full height. I did have bigger dreams and when I watched the people around me soar, I told myself this was as good as it gets.
Settling is different than surrendering. Sometimes I surrender because I face the reality of things I can't control. I surrender when I know to challenge would take more than I am willing to invest. Settling is different. Settling is giving up when I'm facing a steep learning curve to get where I want to go. Settling is getting way too comfortable with the status quo.
This year, when my space is filled with busyness, I will pause and ask myself if I've settled. I will wonder if there is something I want that I could stretch myself a little to get; something that requires me to dig into my stories and clear a path to explore possibilities.
What about you? What are you settling for?
Ms. Daryl Wood is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, a Certified TED* Practitioner and graduate of The Co-Active Leadership Program. She is dedicated to sharing the The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) material in organizations and with individuals eager to transform their relationship with themselves, others and situations. www.darylwood.com www.stopworkplacedrama.ca. March 23/24, 2019 Daryl will be leading the I've Got This! Creating Extraordinary Relationships in Cambridge, Ontario.