One
of the things I have had to overcome in my
pursuit of personal empowerment is
learning that No One Is Coming. In spite
of my natural tendency to be fiercely
independent I have a side of me that longs
to be saved. Maybe it was childhood
fairytales or happy endings on television.
Maybe it was observing the women in my
life. Wherever it came from ... somewhere
in my upbringing ... I got the idea that
if things got bad enough
"someone" would come along and
rescue me from whatever negative
circumstance I was in.
In
spite of all I knew about hard work and my
father's powerful example of self
reliance, I still thought that when things
got really rough, someone would bail me
out. It bears noting that I didn't
consciously focus on this. In fact, until
I began to analyze my past I wasn't even
aware of how strong this underlying belief
was in my life. However, I see how I
wished for the right person to show up and
give me an answer, a connection, a
contact, a book or anything that would
help me solve the puzzle. So finding out
in my late 40's that No One Is Coming was
in many ways a bit devastating.
What
I didn't want to believe was that I might
have to take care of myself. It seemed so
difficult to figure out what to do next or
how to resolve some of the challenging
circumstances I found myself facing. In my
mind, I was definitely not qualified to be
my own saviour.
The
truth was, and is, that taking
responsibility for my life has brought me
more of all the things I wanted.
Fulfillment, relationships, career, and
opportunities to name a few. In a quirky
twist, knowing that No One Is Coming
actually gave me both permission to
stretch myself and the freedom to
experiment with new ways of being in the
world. Without someone else solving all my
dilemmas I gained a powerful awareness
that I could do anything I wanted.
Now
it may seem a little odd that a Life
Coach, someone trained to help people
achieve their goals, would write an
article called No One Is Coming. In fact,
it's the perfect mix! No One Is Coming to
rescue or save you. Not me, and not any
other reputable coach. I won't create
co-dependency, do therapy or be the
driving force in your life. I won't try to
fix you (by the way you're aren't broken),
tell you what to do or insist you follow
the rules that I live by. I WILL be your
partner and comrade. I WILL be your
cheerleader championing your successes. I
WILL be your mirror, showing you what you
may not see and also what you may not want
to look at. I WILL stand by you through
the fascinating journey into your fully
magnificent self.
QUESTION
FOR THE MONTH: What are you ready to take
responsibility for in your life?
