"No
punishment anyone might inflict on us
could possibly be worse than the
punishment we inflict on ourselves by
conspiring in our own diminishment." Parker
Palmer
The
Saboteur, The Gremlin, The Inner Critic,
The Dark Side, The Shadow. Anything
familiar about these characters? You may
have a different name for it and yet we
all have one. They settle into our lives
at a young age and then begin
orchestrating a role for themselves. It
may be sporadic depending on what is
happening at the moment or we may be
sitting in the passenger seat letting our
Saboteur drive our lives!
The
Saboteur is a master of interference that
stops us from being all that we imagine
for ourselves. It puts up barricades when
we strive for goals. It warns us to stay
small when we envision greatness. It
chants self negating messages like a
rhythmic drum beat that never goes away.
Where is it showing up in your life?
As
we slowly diminish in our own view, we
find it hard to be ourselves in the
outside world. We secretly wonder,
"What if they saw who I really
am?
For
me, the Saboteur showed up in a childhood
incident where I felt abandoned. The
message it whispered was that I didn't
matter. That became an underlying
operating system that dictated lifelong
behaviours and attitudes. For example,
decades later as I struggled with losing
weight - again - I realized that I often
nibbled on unhealthy snacks as I told
myself "it won't matter". The
truth was that I believed it didn't matter
what I ate because in the big picture, I
didn't believe that I mattered.
I've
stayed at jobs, held onto relationships
and denied myself opportunities - all
because I feared being abandoned. How
would your life be different if you took
control of the sabotaging ways that are
robbing you of fulfillment?
QUESTION
FOR THE MONTH: Where are you selling
out on yourself?
