"We are all where we are today because of
the choices we have made." Daryl Wood
My friends and family have heard this quote
from me many times - probably many more
times than they would like. I've certainly
needed to remind myself of it's message over
and over again. This wasn't my topic for
this month but a few engaging conversations
pushed my passion button and here I am.
What I have observed is that even the
brightest among us can fall into the trap of
blaming others when they feel uncomfortable.
Part of the reason that otherwise
intelligent people do this is that it is
such a default pattern we may not recognize
it. The bad drivers on the road are the
reason we drive bad. The lazy people at work
are the reason we have to work more. The
rude sales clerks are why we don't shop at a
certain store. And the insensitivity of our
social group is why we feel excluded.
In every case, we abdicate responsibility
and give ourselves a big fat excuse. We
don't speak up for ourselves or act with
integrity because we don't think we have a
choice OR we are afraid. I know what I'm
saying - I operated that way for most of my
life. I was well trained in the "blame and
complain" department. And I can still slip
into it without noticing. These can be
ingrained behaviours that are so well rooted
we feel as though we are paddling upstream
to change them.
The bottom line is that we can choose ... at
any moment ... something different,
something that will empower us. The benefits
of taking responsibility for our own
feelings and reactions are enormous. We get
to choose for ourselves what course our life
will take, who we will spend time with and
how we will treat other people. In my
workshops, the topic of responsibility
always comes up. I could write ... and talk
about ... this for days. There is no
shortage of opportunity and for those
willing to consider this option, freedom is
just around the corner.
QUESTION FOR THE MONTH: "Where do you
need to be responsible for your own
feelings?"
