Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 24, 2026

S.H.A.M.E.

Should. Have. Already. Mastered. Everything.

Anne Lamott is one of the people I listen to and read with great reverence. She makes things so real. Listening to her say this in an interview with Kate Bowler I paused. Is that true? Is that what I feel? Is there resonance?

The answer was yup. And maybe not everything but for sure the things that I don’t feel I have mastered or done well. The myth of perfectionism looms around me. I hear it in the language people use about ‘trying’, ‘getting there’, ‘working on it’, ‘making progress’, and my favourite (which I use all the time) ‘learning and growing’. It all sounds like we are striving for something, some kind of end goal or some imagined finish line where we can take a deep breath and relax. Did it! Done it! Got there! Over! Hurrah! Success!

And what if so much of what we are doing is really just living. Being present to what unfolds in our daily life. Noticing. Accepting. Next.

In my humble opinion there is nothing wrong with striving to learn or grow or achieve. It’s only when we shame ourselves for not getting there soon enough, fast enough or capably enough. And who is in charge of determining what mastery is anyway? Whose standards am I trying so hard to meet?

Shame has followed me throughout my life and my efforts to silence the inner critic have been broad and wide. Brene Brown was a champion to me in my quest to uncover and face my shaming behaviours. I’ve been at it for over thirty years and I’m still so surprised by how pervasive it can be. This is where I shame myself for not knowing how to deal with the shaming voice in my head. Does that make any sense? And if I use specific tools I can see that the inner critic is, in some strange way, trying to alert me to possible danger but what it mostly does it keep me afraid. Afraid of more shaming.

I haven’t already mastered everything. I have figured out how to mange grocery shopping, banking, wood stacking, yoga class, diamond art and appreciating the incredible views out my window every day. And I’ve mastered a lot more than that. Yesterday I told my wellness coach that I’m going to journal the question (rephrased after our call) ‘How might my life be different if I wasn’t so afraid?” This morning it feels like my inner critic is fuelling my fear with the threat of shame.

Time for a reset.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 23, 2026

She’s Still Here

I saw her last week. I saw her this morning. I’ve seen her off and on the past few weeks. And right now, I had to stop eating breakfast and write because she is sitting firmly in my lap, in my heart, in my mind.

The curious, energetic, smiling, fun, adventurous, adorable little girl that I remember from my childhood. I felt her in my whole being at the end of this morning’s guided meditation and she surrounded me with a joy that I haven’t felt for a very long time.

My beautiful inner child, the one who was in awe of the world and gave herself permission to be outrageously creative is still here. The strong, determined little one who took on things that were so exciting there was no time to consider what might go wrong. She just jumped in with both feet. And she is still here.

I am SO happy this morning to share this world with her. My over-thinking, over-worrying, over-anxious, over-fearing, over-analysing mind is no match for her indomitable spirit. I loved her then. I love her now. I’m so grateful she is still here. Dirty elbows, untied shoes, uncombed hair, ripped trousers and a smile that lights up the world. Hello little one. Hello. Please stay.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 20, 2026

Invest In People

In some form or another I’ve probably heard this lesson all of my life. It became a conscious part of my reality after taking The Hoffman Process in 1997. Since then, I’ve done what I can and gave myself grace for all the years I didn’t know and didn’t invest in people the way I would now. My beloved Doug would say “You can’t put an old head on young shoulders.” At least most of the time we can’t apply the wisdom of age when we are in the blossoming of our youth. I did the best I could until I learned more and then I did better. And I’m still doing my best. Sometimes on the easy days when presented with opportunities to care and other days when smiling feels empty. I’m doing my best.

A few days ago I watched one of many inspiring videos from Reflections of Life (link below). There is an important lesson in every one of these short films and this is where I heard the words:

“If you’ve got a short-term vision, you plant vegetables.
If you’ve got a long-term vision, you plant fruit trees.
If you’ve got an eternity vision, you invest in people.”

It made me think about people who do things with a long game in mind. They know they will likely never see the results of what they planted in the earth or in relationships but they do it anyone. They teach children to be kind. They show people how to live more fully. They love without limitation to prepare the young and old for what might lie ahead. All of this because they are investing in people. In the belief that everyone deserves our best so they can tap into their own best.

Yesterday, by sheer luck and divine timing I listened to renowned teacher Gary Zukav talk about the loss of his wife Linda Francis and how he felt he couldn’t go on. I understand that feeling so well. He said “I don’t have a reason for living now except to love people.” And maybe that’s what investing in people is all about. Loving others. As much and as often as we can in the midst of daily life, activity, turmoil, responsibility. Love others.

From a Reflections On Life Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB_I_XdtXdc

Gary’s Video: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1691283091862946

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 18, 2026

Leap, And The Net Will Appear

Twenty-nine years ago I met my delightful friend Judy at The Hoffman Process. She was a firebrand at under five feet and had the best dancing shoes I had ever seen. And she was a teacher of The Artist’s Way program. I went through the program with her and this is the line that stayed front and centre, “Leap, and the net will appear.” Working through the book by Julia Cameron I tried on different ideas and experimented with my creativity. I saw myself discovering and recovering both a playfulness and a purposeful way of expressing myself. And I loved that line because it spoke directly to having faith that things will work out, things will come together, things … some things will happen.

Since then, I have leapt so many times I have lost count. I started listing all the wildly BIG leaps I took and wondered how I had ever had the courage to do some of the things I’ve done. For me, they were dreams, ideas, adventures that to a little girl from rural Hornby, Ontario seemed a bit audacious. But a light had sparked in me and with the foundation of self-acceptance from The Hoffman Process, the Artist’s Way program was the perfect catalyst for me stand up and speak out. I’d been following creative endeavours throughout my life so it wasn’t so much that I had never tried. It was the intention behind my leaps that now aligned with a deeper meaning.

Looking back I remembered that I had indeed been surprising myself since my teen years with ambition and focused determination. So what was it about this leaping thing that was different now? I gave it some thought as I recently heard that someone I love has started the program. What it felt like was that I had given myself permission without judgement to reawaken the creativity that was hovering over me. And so a magazine evolved, retreats were birthed, workshops were presented, travelling for training happened, new love, a big move and the list goes on of ways I put my artistry and imagination into being. Even in corporate training sessions with stiff professionals, I introduced playful ways to learn that were embraced and deepened the experience. Who knew I would be bold enough to try so many things? I think I knew. I think knew from a young age that I was willing to be daring even if a little fearful at times.

So here I am two years and three months into my grieving for my beloved Doug. He was my solid supporter and chief encourager even when he wasn’t completely sold on my ideas. Without him, I wondered how I would ever leap again. Or if I even wanted to. But a funny thing happened on the way to writing in my journal. I started listing all the big leaps I’d taken and filled pages because I couldn’t help but go back many decades (at 71 there are a lot of those) and see that it is in my nature to leap. My grandparents leapt. My mother leapt. My father leapt. My siblings and my son are still leaping. It’s in my blood.

And the net has always been there. Always. Sometimes it looked a little frayed and ragged. Sometimes I didn’t think it would hold me. Sometimes I was humbled by those who stood nearby and held the net in place to make sure I was supported. And still, the net has always been there.

Now the leaps are different. I have nothing to prove, not that I think that was a driving force in the past. Right now, the leap is to fill my days with love, kindness and peace for myself and others. The leap is risking my often fragile emotions to be where I am needed and where I am called to. The leap gets me up in the morning with intention and an absolute trust that the net is there and will always be there whether that is my friends, my family, my faith, my community or simply the evidence that I can do hard things.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 13, 2026

An Unimaginable Tragedy

For all of us, what has happened in the town of Tumbler Ridge, B.C. is the worst of the worst. As I post and write I feel I can’t look away from the enormous sadness and grief that has fallen not only on this small town but everyone across our country and around the world who hears about it. May every possible ounce of blessings, grace, love, compassion and kindness be sent to this suffering community. And to every single person on this planet who is waking up to an unimaginable tragedy.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 13, 2026

Fragile. Handle With Care. This Side Up

What if we all came with labels the way our packages arrive? What if no one ever had to guess what is going on with us or how to greet us because we had clearly marked messages right up front.

Yesterday a beautiful flower arrangement arrived from my daughter and son-in-law. All these messages pasted on the box told me exactly what to expect and how to handle the package. I followed the instructions and unwrapped a lovely display of bright coloured flowers. Since I was all bundled up on my way out for a walk when I discovered the box at the door, I might have given it a toss onto the indoor bench and not paid much attention to how I moved it. But of course, the labels were easy to see and I knew what to do.

Imagine meeting someone and the first thing you notice is a “Fragile” sign. Or maybe “Handle With Care”? Or any other possible message that alerted you to a difficult state of mind? I wonder how many times we greet someone casually and move along not knowing what is happening in their world. And we don’t always need to or want to. But sometimes we do.

Sometimes if we look deliberately we can tell from someone’s eyes or facial features what might be going on with them. Some of us can tell ‘energetically’ that something is ‘off’. It’s not just that rushing through our days keeps us from recognizing something in others. Walking through life, most of us interact with lots of people on a daily basis. Some we know. Some we don’t. Sometimes we want to engage and sometimes we don’t.

And it’s not all gloom and doom. What if we saw someone coming down the grocery aisle with a big “Happy and Content” sign hanging around their neck. I’m smiling just thinking about it. I am imaging having a box of cards on lanyards at the door that I can put on when I leave the house so that people will know what I’m feeling that day. Sometimes when I greet the friendly staff at my grocery store they don’t know who is showing up – the sad, grieving Daryl, or the bouncy, excitable Daryl. I’m pretty quick to let them know so we can still have a hug to share whatever it is.

Since we all carry ‘signs’ of what we are feeling and knowing that most are pretty subtle it boils down to one plain truth. Just be kind. Be kind enough to laugh out loud, grin from ear to ear, listen with enthusiasm. Be kind enough to share a tear, stand still for as long as it takes, listen with compassion. Labels or not, we can all make the world a better place with kindness.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 11, 2026

You Can’t Live Without Hope

Listening to a radio program I heard the voice of a young woman waiting on the edge of life for confirmation that her travel documents are in order and she can leave her country to pursue the education she longs for. She has met the high standards of scholarship and now she must wait. And must is the key word here. She has followed through on every possible avenue so there is nothing more she can do. It’s out of her hands. When asked how she keeps going she says “You can’t live without hope.”

You can’t live without hope. Take a minute and think about that. You can’t live without hope. How often do we even consider that somewhere in our lives is a measure of hope no matter what we are experiencing. When our day is disrupted with conflicting relationships, difficult physical challenges, and the horrific news that lands on days like today, where is hope? Where is hope that ‘things’ will get better or not any worse? When we feel like we have “lost all hope” is that really true? Is there some sliver of hope that lives within each of us that we forget when our world – personally and globally – says there is no hope?

Well, I would have doubted that hope lived in me many times in the past two years but something has shifted. I have always been immensely grateful for the life I had with Doug and for all the people who have circled around me to support me. Lately I have been sensing that my history of a deep, loving relationship and the subsequent kindnesses extended to me have been keeping the flame of hope alive even when I passed through my darkest hours of grief and was certain there was no hope. And maybe that’s what we are all doing; keeping a flame of hope alive within ourselves and maybe in others.

So how do we do this? Today I got up and followed a recently developed routine of morning activities. Nothing sensational, just what I do in sequence to make sure some little things get done before I launch into my day. And in the mundane pace of eye drops, making tea, thawing wild blueberries etc. I realized that I do these things because there is a little hope inside of me that this will give me the foundation for my day, that these small steps will provide some structure that keeps me moving along for the greater opportunities that might lie ahead. I didn’t have a mental conversation about hoping this helps. I just did it automatically because at some point in time I believed, I hoped, this would start my day in a positive, self-affirming way.

Hope is so often connected with bigger dreams and aspirations and I love that. I have started a conversation with my heart daughter about a trip in 2027. I am hoping it happens and it gives me hope to think that in the future we will be doing something extraordinary together. And there is also hope that by eating my healthy breakfast, choosing appropriate clothes for the chilly weather, double checking my grocery list, that I will be prepared for the day ahead.

Each day we are given the chance to nurture hope within ourselves and you can’t live without hope. Mostly we might be doing this in subtle, unconscious ways and that’s great. Maybe taking a pause to see just how much hope lives within us we can embrace how hope gives our lives a rich and beautiful soft place to land.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 7, 2026

Grief in Tobermory: Yes, It’s a Thing

The following essay was published in the Bruce Peninsula Press in January 2026

Having lived here full time for 26 years I’ve witnessed my share of grief. The loss of community leaders, neighbours, children, elders and lots of people who live on only in our memories. Until my beloved Doug Dailey died, I didn’t understand how losing my person could profoundly change my life and who I am. It’s been two long years and more therapy, counselling, consoling and coaching than I could have imagined.

And through it all, has been my community. Someone once commented that no one north of Lion’s Head has NOT seen me cry in public. That’s who I have always been. Very transparent which can be a blessing and a curse.

And that’s where grieving in Tobermory comes up. On a phone call with a friend who has visited me, he said I lived in the perfect place to grieve. I think I’ve known that from the beginning of this journey, but we decided to go a little deeper to see what that really means.

From my perspective, there is something so sacred about the ruralness and simplicity of this area that invites quieter reflection. And that’s not always what a grieving person needs. I can only speak from what the experience has been like for me as a widow. I know lots of widows up here and I have been humbled by the realization that I rarely said the ‘right’ thing or did the ‘right’ thing when I encountered them. And what I will say is that I did the best I could and that’s what is so special about the people of Tobermory. They do the best they can and they keep doing it which is evidenced by two years of continuing to take time to cry or laugh with me.

But it’s more than what people give me. It’s also about the weight of the earth, the sound of the wind, the steadiness of the escarpment rock, the resilience of the battered trees, the constant changing flow of the water. We sit here between two large lakes that are continuously on the move. Some days the sun makes them shimmer with hopeful anticipation. Other days the wind blows the waves inland reminding us all of our vulnerability. The message is clear – nothing stays the same; change is inevitable. And change is what grieving widows deal with every day.

I watched the lake rise and fall without recognizing that it was a metaphor for my life in this new situation. As I look around me now, I see how it has sustained itself in spite of droughts and storms. In the same way, the cedars that are so prominent on this tiny tip of the peninsula are shedding and sheltering from the natural changes around them. And maybe we are too.

Maybe we are more influenced by nature than we realize. Maybe we are finding ways to sustain ourselves, move and flow, hold steady, start over and whatever else we need to do to not just survive but to thrive.

I didn’t think any of this was possible when Doug slipped away. Now I can’t help but see that what draws so many people to visit Tobermory is also what can support and hold us in place when we are grieving. It is the land that is steeped in culture, history and fierce survival that is the perfect place to grieve. It is the people who are honest, caring and deliberate in their love of community.

It would be too simplistic to point out the lack of support resources when we may not have accessed what is offered to us by the very environment that we have chosen to live in. And this is where gratitude becomes a bridge to healing. When we can accept and be with our despair, we might also be able to stand in the beauty and holiness of the land we call home. The land we call Tobermory where grief lives and sometimes, finds a way to give us hope.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 4, 2026

A Meaningful Life

Yesterday I heard a grief counsellor say that maybe it’s too much to try and imagine or plan a meaningful life. Maybe the best we can do when we are grieving is to plan a meaningful month, or week, or day. And sometimes, for me, that’s planning a meaningful moment. Moment by moment. It occurs to me that these meaningful moments, days and weeks are the essence of a meaningful life. Collectively, they may ultimately define what a meaningful life is for me and for those who move slowly through the process of healing and growth.

I wonder if this is good advice for everyone. Perhaps a reminder to live fully in the moment because it’s really all we have. I recently had a quick casual conversation with a local legendary doctor who has just passed his 85th birthday. We were talking about changes in our lives when he snapped his fingers and said “And things can change just like that”. I wanted to stand quietly right there in the energy of the moment and let that sink in.

For all of us, ‘just like that’, happens in subtle ways in our lives and mostly goes unnoticed. Except when we can’t miss it. When it is something big and loud. And then what? Well, then our values and beliefs, our character, our intention, our impulses leap forward to direct us to the next steps. And when we are solid, or at least very well informed, in how we handle life’s ups and downs we may discover that what we do next creates, or in some cases diminishes, a meaningful life. And who wants to be standing on the sidelines of their life wondering what happened?

If we allow ourselves the time and space to understand what a meaningful life means to us, not what others say but really ourselves, then we have somewhere to go when we need direction. A friend recently shared with me that ‘you can’t see your reflection in running water, only still’. And still water is the container where we can see what a meaningful life means for us.

Sometimes people think it is a luxury to be able to ponder such thoughts and yes, for many, their lives are consumed with survival. I get that and I’m humbled by the privilege of being able to set aside time for introspection. But that’s what I have right now and it could all change ‘just like that’. So in the meantime, those of us who have the gift of this opportunity can build the foundation of a meaningful life by knowing for sure what that means to each of us, in our own words, in our own way.

May you see with absolute clarity in the days ahead.

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Posted by: Ms. Daryl Wood | February 2, 2026

Letting Go. Again.

I could write a whole book on this but I’ll start with this:

I wonder if we realize how often we hold onto someone or something that no longer serves us or aligns with who we are. I mean who we are really, not the who we are that we might have lived with or presented to the world for years. How long can we hold onto places, activities and the people who populated our life in the past if they don’t fit anymore? And what is necessary to let go of in order to be honest with ourselves as we shift into the life we are living now?

And what if that means letting go of relationships that have been very special or have filled our world with excitement, opportunity and comfort? Is there a sense of betrayal? Are we less grateful? Is there guilt? And what if we have little or no choice because someone else has rejected us? In the wake of grief, the very idea of letting go of people is very painful. What I notice for me is that even when people have done something or are doing something that reveals a fundamental disconnect I sometimes cling because I’m afraid of being alone or having no one to reach out to. And I don’t want to be seen (I have no idea who is watching and rating my behaviour) as ungrateful or judgemental. I mean, really?

A quote I return to is “Rejection is spirit’s protection.” Rejection isn’t just about someone distancing themselves or ghosting me, it’s also when situations I was counting on or looking forward to don’t work out. It’s the turn of events that break my heart or make me anxious. Then the worry comes in and a long list of fear based internal questions about my worth and worthiness. I have the tools to deal with this and I do it. The challenge is when I am getting all the signals and not realizing that I am being given a gift. A gift that this relationship or situation is not in my best interest so perhaps it would serve me to step away, to retreat and ask myself what I’m getting from it that keeps me tethered to something that doesn’t help me heal and grow. And worse yet, how is this taking up space in my life that could be filled with something more meaningful?

If I am to believe what I taught for decades (and I do believe it at a cellular level) then there are lots of quotes to guide me:

  • “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou
  • “Once you become aware of what stands in your way and become willing to release it, you signal the universe that you are ready to manifest the life you were meant to live.”    Chérie Carter-Scott
  • “The space for what you want is already filled with what you settled for instead.”  Richard Bach

So on this frosty February morning I am nudging myself to let the messages be heard. Rather than reading between the lines or making assumptions I see that I have been getting very clear signals from Spirit, The Universe, God, Creator, all the time. It’s time to let go. With that comes trusting that what is meant for me will show up. After all, I am maybe too well known for saying that the Law of Attraction is always at work whether you believe it or not. As long as I hold onto, and that includes investing in, relationships and situations that are not for my highest good then I might have more of those in my life. No thanks. I am on the crest of rebuilding and letting go might be more liberating than I ever imagined.

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